I've got the letter written. Just have to copy out the final draft. I think I'll post mail it to him. I doubt if he has my email blocked but I don't want to take any chances. Plus, it's too easy to delete an email.

When the therapist, Dana, called me back we talked about insurance then she asked how she could help me. I broke down bawling. Part of it was just stuff that has built up over the last year, but also of relief that I'd finally have someone to talk to about this. I told her of some of the things I've been feeling and at the end of the call she asked if I was having any thoughts of sucide or of hurting myself this evening. She actually sounded concerned like she cared for me. That took me by surprise for whatever reason. I've never sought help before so I have no idea what to expect. Guess I've watched too many movies where the patient rattles out their heart and the doctor sits there doodling in his notepad coldly and calmly detached from what the patient is saying.

Hopefully in a few months or so I'll start to feel better. If not, then probably drugs. Happy Pills. I'm not totally against them, but I'm afraid that I won't know if the joy I'm feeling is true or induced. When the pills go away, will the happy go away too? I know they've helped a lot of people. But I'd rather use that as a last resort.