I had a dream about David last night.

In the dream I'm watching him in a blue jumper standing with his hands against a wall supporting himself since he wasn't strong enough to walk. The wall is the bottom part of a stage and the observing me is sitting in the front row. Then I see myself scooping up him and sitting in the same seat that the observing me is sitting in, thus moulding the two selves together. I feel the weight of the baby in my lap. A wonderful weight, heavy, warm and full of life, his head against my chest, turning as he takes in the scene on the stage. He's calm and content, safe in my arms, I'm also calm and content, feeling protective.

He would be about 2.5 months old now, not old enough to be standing. In the dream he was about 4-5 month old. Still not old enough to be standing, but that was his size.

From baby to babe, Firestone James had nothing but smiles for me when I came in this afternoon for new shocks. I told him I was taking a road trip and to do basic check of stuff and to check out the popping noise that I'm hearing. When I picked it up he smiled and said, "Have a good trip." With those baby blues to think about while I'm driving past the winter wheat, you know I will, handsome.

Merrie and Kashif broke up. This is how I found out:

Her (sad): "Kashif is thinking about moving to Pittsburg"
Me: "So what are you going to do? Start buying tickets to Pittsburgh?"
Her: "You don't know?"
Me: "Know what?"
Her: "We broke up"
Me (trying to be calm) "When did this happen?"
Her: "June"
Me: "You never told me."
Her: "At first I couldn't"
Me thinking: and then it just fucking slipped your mind? Saying: "oh, well, I'm sorry"

She made me promise not to tell Rob. I'm half tempted to because I know it's her he's after and that way he'll think he has a chance with her and get the hell away from me

As I talk to her it becomes apparent that I'm one of the last to know (besides Rob). Her co-workers know, Fawad, I'm pretty sure, knows. Just not me. I guess we're not as close friends as I thought we were. She was the first one I went to when Ray broke up with me.

I guess I'm going to the company party with Merrie. I'm skipping the dinner and we're going out to eat and then to the party for an hour or two and get enough to drink before heading out to Bricktown 54. I called and invited Fawad. More as a driver/key/money/id holder than anything.

It's coming to the point where I don't like clubbing anymore. It was sorta fun but with Merrie all the guys are after her and I can only get a guy to make eye contact with me if I just happen to be in his way to the bar or bathroom or Merrie.