Me and Rex are on rocky roads right now and it's tearing me up inside. He said that he want's to date others but at the same time be with me. I told him to do what makes him happy and if that means dating others, then he's free to go. I don't want to make him stay with me and feel bitter and resentful. He told me he didn't expect to meet anyone like me so soon after his divorce. He's had a few casual dinners with other women the in the last few months but he never saw them again. He didn't feel the connection that he felt with me at the end of our first date.

This conversation was Saturday night. Sunday we were both a mess and I left his house around 2.30. We didn't talk, email or im until I sent him an email this morning that said only 'hi'. He emails me back this afternoon asking twice if i was ok and that he's had headaches since Sunday and that he's confused.

I've been doing ok. Sunday night when I got home was the worst. I wrote him a letter detailing my thoughts and feelings of the past 24 hours. Monday I was feeling angry and wrote him another letter explaining why I was angry. Neither I have sent, probably never will. Monday night I sat down and wrote over 20 pages in my paper journal. Filled it up. Tonight I will go shopping for a new one.