I hope this letter finds you well; however I have sad news. Rex is no longer with us and I thought you should know. I don't know if anyone else would know to contact you but I am. The funeral is in Alva on Friday at 2 at the First Baptist Church. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.He will be missed deeply.
Sincerely,
G
Rex is dead.
Killed him self late Tue/early Wed in his office.
The first man I ever truely loved, lumps and all.
Gone.
A friend of his emailed me this morning. It was the only way she knew to get in touch. Funeral is this afternoon at 2 in Alva. I can't go. I don't want to go. I can't bear to see him in a casket. He will always be smiling in my memories.
He went to Cuba illegally in Nov. Got re-married in Dec. Asked if I wanted to see the wedding pictures. I polietly said no. I couldn't bear it. He said he understood, more than I knew, he understood.
Now I don't understand.
His yahoo messanger icon is active, has been all week as far as I know. But he won't reply now.
I've never known anyone that killed themself. One minute i'm sad, then angry, then shock, then angry again.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
iced in
I don't watch the weather forcasts. What weather news I get is that day's weather from the radio as I argue with myself to hit snooze or get up. The only way I knew it was going to be raining ice, sleet and possible snow is because Scott left yesterday for San Diego. He left at 10.30 and I took the morning off so I could see him off. It was raining yesterday morning so every few hours I'd call him, find out where he was and give him the weather forcast for that area. In the process I saw that we were in for some ice storms.
Put a tarp over the windshield of the car even though I knew I wasn't going to work if the roads were the least bit icky. At 6.30A it was 33F, by 7.30 it was 26F. The rain was turning to ice and the weather was going to keep droping. I called the dog daycare and told them I wouldn't bring Whiskey in for his weekly play date. Still didn't know if I was going to work, but if I did, the last thing I'd want in the car is an excited dog. Decided to blow off work. Not like there's much to do anyway.
Inventory is finishing today. Then shipping will have 3 days worth of orders to get caught up on. Figured I'd work in shipping for a few hours tomorrow and Friday that way I'll have my hours and not have to worry about getting paid for the snowday.
Scott starts school next Monday. He'll be gone a month and wants me to fly out there on his last day and then we'll drive back together. Decemeber was a hectic month for me. The first week of Dec there was a family that stayed here because they had to be out of base housing on the 1st, but his transfer date wasn't until the 6th. Then the day after they left, Scott started ripping up carpet in the dining area and the old tile in the kitchen getting the floor ready to be re-tiled. His sister and brother-in-law came that weekend to help since they had just redone their bathroom. I got sent to the hardware store just as Scott started and the dining room was pretty much done when I got back. The kitchen is just big enough for 1 person so I only got to lay 8 square feet of tile in the dining area. The next morning they showed us how to grout and went on their merry way. Scott did the grouting and I came along behind and sponged smooth the grout and fetched endless buckets of fresh water.
The kitchen looks nice now.
For Christmas we went to his mom's in Arkansas. Then last week his mom and her husband came by on their way to Bob's daughter's house nearby. Thankfully they only stayed a couple of hours. They are nice people and all, but I'm worn out.
That pretty much sums up my life since the last time you were here. Next weekend I hope to go home and have Christmas with my parents and find out if my brother proposed to his girlfriend. Weird, I may become a sister-in-law soon. Weirder still, he's been with her off and on since just after high school graduation and I don't know her last name.
listening to: Cotton purr as I sing "Rocky Road to Dublin" to her
smelling: the stewmeat simmering
Whiskey is: asleep by the window
Put a tarp over the windshield of the car even though I knew I wasn't going to work if the roads were the least bit icky. At 6.30A it was 33F, by 7.30 it was 26F. The rain was turning to ice and the weather was going to keep droping. I called the dog daycare and told them I wouldn't bring Whiskey in for his weekly play date. Still didn't know if I was going to work, but if I did, the last thing I'd want in the car is an excited dog. Decided to blow off work. Not like there's much to do anyway.
Inventory is finishing today. Then shipping will have 3 days worth of orders to get caught up on. Figured I'd work in shipping for a few hours tomorrow and Friday that way I'll have my hours and not have to worry about getting paid for the snowday.
Scott starts school next Monday. He'll be gone a month and wants me to fly out there on his last day and then we'll drive back together. Decemeber was a hectic month for me. The first week of Dec there was a family that stayed here because they had to be out of base housing on the 1st, but his transfer date wasn't until the 6th. Then the day after they left, Scott started ripping up carpet in the dining area and the old tile in the kitchen getting the floor ready to be re-tiled. His sister and brother-in-law came that weekend to help since they had just redone their bathroom. I got sent to the hardware store just as Scott started and the dining room was pretty much done when I got back. The kitchen is just big enough for 1 person so I only got to lay 8 square feet of tile in the dining area. The next morning they showed us how to grout and went on their merry way. Scott did the grouting and I came along behind and sponged smooth the grout and fetched endless buckets of fresh water.
The kitchen looks nice now.
For Christmas we went to his mom's in Arkansas. Then last week his mom and her husband came by on their way to Bob's daughter's house nearby. Thankfully they only stayed a couple of hours. They are nice people and all, but I'm worn out.
That pretty much sums up my life since the last time you were here. Next weekend I hope to go home and have Christmas with my parents and find out if my brother proposed to his girlfriend. Weird, I may become a sister-in-law soon. Weirder still, he's been with her off and on since just after high school graduation and I don't know her last name.
listening to: Cotton purr as I sing "Rocky Road to Dublin" to her
smelling: the stewmeat simmering
Whiskey is: asleep by the window
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
vote
listening to: the cool breeze outside
Whiskey is: smelling the aloe vera
Got the mail today and in it was a flyer from the anti-choice, anit-gay, anti-sex eductation, anti-porn, anti-nonChristian religions shoot anyone who's different pinched face needs to be fucked up the ass rePUBlican. I called the number on the flyer and very politely said I didn't want to receive any more of his propoganda and please remove me from your mailing list. The cow(his wife) who answered the phone hung up on me. Can you believe that shit?
Kevin was telling me that he gets all sorts of weird phone calls from supporters and militant conservatives alike and he listens to all of them. Or at least the ones that keep their language clean. I was very polite but did she ask me to repeat my address? no. Or how to spell my name? no. Or that I wouldn't be receiving anymore trees who died in vein in my mail box? no.
In the flyer was a picture of his wholesome family of a daughter and son (who's body language suggested he wanted to be standing as far from his dad as possible) along with a cat that looked damn unhappy to be there.
Came home for dinner and to let the dog out. Heading back to work for another few hours so I can get enough done so I don't have to work this weekend.
Whiskey is: smelling the aloe vera
Got the mail today and in it was a flyer from the anti-choice, anit-gay, anti-sex eductation, anti-porn, anti-nonChristian religions shoot anyone who's different pinched face needs to be fucked up the ass rePUBlican. I called the number on the flyer and very politely said I didn't want to receive any more of his propoganda and please remove me from your mailing list. The cow(his wife) who answered the phone hung up on me. Can you believe that shit?
Kevin was telling me that he gets all sorts of weird phone calls from supporters and militant conservatives alike and he listens to all of them. Or at least the ones that keep their language clean. I was very polite but did she ask me to repeat my address? no. Or how to spell my name? no. Or that I wouldn't be receiving anymore trees who died in vein in my mail box? no.
In the flyer was a picture of his wholesome family of a daughter and son (who's body language suggested he wanted to be standing as far from his dad as possible) along with a cat that looked damn unhappy to be there.
Came home for dinner and to let the dog out. Heading back to work for another few hours so I can get enough done so I don't have to work this weekend.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
smeared
Kevin is running for office. He ran about 10 yrs ago but didn't make it for whatever reason. When we were dating I asked him if he'd ever run again and he said he probably wouldn't because he thought the other side might take his divorce and use it against him.
Three years later I round the corner and see a campaign sign with a familiar name on it. A quick instant message confirmed that it was him. A few weeks later his campaign manager comes over with a stack of returned postcards and access to a statewide database of voters. I go through the postcards and mark the names as bad addresses. Scott is none too happy about this.
earlier this month I get an email from Scott while I'm at work and he says he returned home from the parts store and saw a sign in the yard from 'my boyfriend' that went immediately into the trash. I call Kevin. He said his volunteer team must have done that. Since those signs are $5 each to produce he asked if I could salvage it. It wasn't damaged and I put it in my trunk. The next day Scott asked why it wasn't in the trash where he put it.
Yesterday as I was coming home from the dogpark with Whiskey I call Kevin and ask if I could drop it off. We stand in the driveway and chat for a few minutes. He told me that his opponent is doing a literature drop of Kevin's divorce and is slanting it in a horrible way. The divorce wasn't bitter, they grew apart. He's still friend with his ex who lives in the same neighborhood and endorses his run for office.
The opponent went on a 5 week vacation after the runoffs. When he came back all his signs were gone. He blamed Kevin, but the city took them down because they were in the right-of-way and they couldn't get a hold of him to move them. Kevin went out and took pictures of them in a dumpster that the city uses when they pick up trash like that.
The opponent has since put up homemade signs that say 'integrity matters'.
listening to: the dishwasher
reading: Count of Monte Cristo
Whiskey is: chewing on his canvas man
Three years later I round the corner and see a campaign sign with a familiar name on it. A quick instant message confirmed that it was him. A few weeks later his campaign manager comes over with a stack of returned postcards and access to a statewide database of voters. I go through the postcards and mark the names as bad addresses. Scott is none too happy about this.
earlier this month I get an email from Scott while I'm at work and he says he returned home from the parts store and saw a sign in the yard from 'my boyfriend' that went immediately into the trash. I call Kevin. He said his volunteer team must have done that. Since those signs are $5 each to produce he asked if I could salvage it. It wasn't damaged and I put it in my trunk. The next day Scott asked why it wasn't in the trash where he put it.
Yesterday as I was coming home from the dogpark with Whiskey I call Kevin and ask if I could drop it off. We stand in the driveway and chat for a few minutes. He told me that his opponent is doing a literature drop of Kevin's divorce and is slanting it in a horrible way. The divorce wasn't bitter, they grew apart. He's still friend with his ex who lives in the same neighborhood and endorses his run for office.
The opponent went on a 5 week vacation after the runoffs. When he came back all his signs were gone. He blamed Kevin, but the city took them down because they were in the right-of-way and they couldn't get a hold of him to move them. Kevin went out and took pictures of them in a dumpster that the city uses when they pick up trash like that.
The opponent has since put up homemade signs that say 'integrity matters'.
listening to: the dishwasher
reading: Count of Monte Cristo
Whiskey is: chewing on his canvas man
Saturday, October 23, 2004
debating
Don't know if I should do the nanowrimo thing this year. I tried it 2 years ago. Don't remember what I wrote, but I think my word count was around 500. Kinda pitiful, but it was all I could manage considering I was working on catalog at the time.
Working on catalog now. It's due at the publishers 10 Nov, but I only have 32 pages to do, 10 of those are table of contents. There is another 100-150 pages of indexing to do, but I'll get help on that so it shouldn't be a problem.
Mom called today and I told her about the weasle getting fired. She was kinda upset that they didn't offer me the promotion considering I'll be there 5 years next month. Uh, no. My first supervisor was fired because he did his job which made some people have to do their job and they didn't like that. The weasle got fired because he did a half-ass job, when he actually did anything. No. Thank. You.
Once catalog is done, the new supervisor is settled in and things return to what can be called normal, I'm going to see if I can't move over to design development or software and get out of graphics. I don't do anything creative in there. Probably won't get a raise.
Am thinking about submitting artwork for next season's licensed collections. Of course if I'm still working here I'll submit under a psydonymn. If they knew right off that it was mine, they would not pay me as much for it or say, 'since you work here, just let us use it for free'. bullshit.
One of our artists created some designs that are now being endorsed by a famous entertainer. I was handed a thick folder of stuff as I was doing some of the packaging. In it was her contract. We're paying her $100,000 to put her name and face on this product. $20,000 of it was in advance. Our artist probably gets $12 an hour and worked over two months on that project. But we could either sell it for $45 or slap a famous face and name on it and sell it for $69. All hail the almighty dollar.
And the way the packaging reads, it sounds like she designed and created these herself. She didn't. We sent a bunch to her, she approved the ones she liked, was photographed with them and had us touch up an ad because she (or her handlers) thought it made her butt look big.
Working on catalog now. It's due at the publishers 10 Nov, but I only have 32 pages to do, 10 of those are table of contents. There is another 100-150 pages of indexing to do, but I'll get help on that so it shouldn't be a problem.
Mom called today and I told her about the weasle getting fired. She was kinda upset that they didn't offer me the promotion considering I'll be there 5 years next month. Uh, no. My first supervisor was fired because he did his job which made some people have to do their job and they didn't like that. The weasle got fired because he did a half-ass job, when he actually did anything. No. Thank. You.
Once catalog is done, the new supervisor is settled in and things return to what can be called normal, I'm going to see if I can't move over to design development or software and get out of graphics. I don't do anything creative in there. Probably won't get a raise.
Am thinking about submitting artwork for next season's licensed collections. Of course if I'm still working here I'll submit under a psydonymn. If they knew right off that it was mine, they would not pay me as much for it or say, 'since you work here, just let us use it for free'. bullshit.
One of our artists created some designs that are now being endorsed by a famous entertainer. I was handed a thick folder of stuff as I was doing some of the packaging. In it was her contract. We're paying her $100,000 to put her name and face on this product. $20,000 of it was in advance. Our artist probably gets $12 an hour and worked over two months on that project. But we could either sell it for $45 or slap a famous face and name on it and sell it for $69. All hail the almighty dollar.
And the way the packaging reads, it sounds like she designed and created these herself. She didn't. We sent a bunch to her, she approved the ones she liked, was photographed with them and had us touch up an ad because she (or her handlers) thought it made her butt look big.
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