gone, never forgotten

I hope this letter finds you well; however I have sad news. Rex is no longer with us and I thought you should know. I don't know if anyone else would know to contact you but I am. The funeral is in Alva on Friday at 2 at the First Baptist Church. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.He will be missed deeply.
Sincerely,
G

Rex is dead.

Killed him self late Tue/early Wed in his office.

The first man I ever truely loved, lumps and all.

Gone.

A friend of his emailed me this morning. It was the only way she knew to get in touch. Funeral is this afternoon at 2 in Alva. I can't go. I don't want to go. I can't bear to see him in a casket. He will always be smiling in my memories.

He went to Cuba illegally in Nov. Got re-married in Dec. Asked if I wanted to see the wedding pictures. I polietly said no. I couldn't bear it. He said he understood, more than I knew, he understood.

Now I don't understand.

His yahoo messanger icon is active, has been all week as far as I know. But he won't reply now.

I've never known anyone that killed themself. One minute i'm sad, then angry, then shock, then angry again.